Practical Advice + Life Lessons I Learned From The Dating World
I’m writing a book about relationships + radical self-responsibility when we’re in them (and we’re in relationships all the damn time – not just love relationships – friends and family count too, as well as the most important relationship we’re in most of the time – with our sweet self).
As I’ve been diving into book writing (my focus is on those intimate, heart-swelling, love relationships) – I’m walking down memory lane in my past journeys with the men I’ve been blessed to know and love in my life (and even some who were brief moments of exhilaration, as well as heart tears).
Even though I’m a married woman now (and trust me, that’ll be another book because I was SO anti-marriage before I met my hubs) and STILL learning about love -I thought I’d share some quips that my men of the past would impart on me about life, or lessons I walked away with when it was all said and done.
So, here’s a little practical advice + life lessons I learned from the dating world and from those whom I’ve shared life with that I actually use and apply to this day. Go love!
- Turn your A/C/heater off before you shut the car off. Something about it adding stress to your car while it’s resting – don’t know all the details, but I always think of my high school love when I do that.
- If you’re a budding teenager who thinks you know everything and your hormones are pulsing like crazy – for the love of God, please make sure you know when parents will be coming home before you get all kissy face + sweaty with your main man.
- Your BF’s family can and just might become your family. And yes, it hurts when it’s over. Almost like two heartbreaks simultaneously, but you’re better for it, so just fall and heal.
- Sometimes the very best relationships start out as out-of-the-blue, intense friendships + you obsess about whether to cross the line or not, and you do indeed cross the friend line + it’s all worth it because you know now how it feels to be loved in an intimate way from your best friend. And that’s fucking beautiful – even if it doesn’t work out.
- A large age gap in a relationship has only one meaning + that’s what the two peeps in the relationship give it. Everyone is different and sometimes, two souls have some cosmic stuff to work out – no matter what age they are.
- It’s hella cheaper when your man changes your oil and brakes. But, it might not be without an entire day lost on going from shop to shop figuring out your car because, well, you have one of those German cars and he does not, so yeah. It gets fixed, money is saved and car lessons are absorbed.
- When you’re a bartender, making connection with your patrons and tending to your regulars is like working for a consistent paycheck. They’ll take care of you, as long as you take care of them.
- Country music has a way of explaining your feelings about a relationship + is best used to convey those feelings.
- When at a bar + you ask a guy what he does for a living and he kindly, shyly says he’s a lawyer and then you proceed to say, “Like that lawyer on TV, with those commercials….” and he says, “Yep, that’s my dad.” Believe him. You truly don’t have to ask for his driver’s license and lead a full inquiry about his family tree (even if he STILL takes you out on a date).
- That dreamy guy in college math class who turns your head + you love when he opens the classroom door for you – is totally worth playing cool and waiting for to make the first move in asking for your number. Patience is truly a virtue sometimes.
- When your man has better eyebrows than you do – take his advice on putting together a nice outfit.
- Dating a guy who’s a smooth talker can totally come in handy, especially when he parleys his way backstage to a country concert and the next thing you know you’re meeting some rockin’ celebs, having a beer with the headliner and hanging out in the tour bus until 2:00am. Talk away, talker.
- A fireman has a sweet schedule that can indeed accommodate a long distance relationship.
- And some endings to a love match are totally unforeseeable + completely abrupt and that’s okay. Let it go and know it’s happening for you, not against you – try not to obsess about why.
Relationships are teachers – guideposts – forks in the road; sure you get to be a part of someone else’s world, but even more, you get the opportunity to know yourself even better.
And that, to me, is where choice and freedom intersect.
Love + Knowing Yourself Better,