The Weight of Judgment + How I Called Bullshit On Myself
I am going to call myself out right this moment: I love spirituality + consciousness!
I’m a bit of a hippie, I’m all about the woo – crystals, affirmations, Law of Attraction, mala beads and so much more.
I love the world of chakras, Shaman, acupuncture, Reiki, energetic healing, Medium’s, Angel’s, meditation and kale…definitely kale.
This is the place where I feel alive, comfortable and not confined by any box. My energy is free in this space and judgment only lives where I place it. This is where I connect with God/Source/Universe.
I bet you are wondering why I am “calling myself out” on being spiritual?
Well, to tell ya the damn truth…up until recently I judged myself for being in the “woo” because I thought I had to appeal to everybody (business & personally speaking). Wtf, right? Silly goose I am.
I had this picture in my mind that I didn’t want to let anyone down by showing up fully in that space of consciousness because if they didn’t align with what I put out there…wait for it, wait for it…They. May. Not. LIKE ME! GAAAASP.
Yep, that was a story I told myself and trust me I try my best to be highly aware of what stories are runnin’ around in my noggin’, or not giving two-shits about what other people think. Go figure, even us spiritual types are ever evolving – damn you ego.
I always admired others who showed up fully in their business and life with the beautiful gifts they had to offer this world.
Perhaps it was my lack of awareness around my own gifts (and btw we ALL possess a special quality that is unique to us and may shine outwardly onto this world) that kept me in a space of “pleasing everyone.”
Perhaps it was part of my journey to keep digging, especially in my business, as to how I can use myself to serve the world and then show up FULLY.
As I tried to “appeal to everyone” I found my light beginning to dim.
That’s the weight of judgment.
You see, when something doesn’t feel light to you (light feelings usually equate to truth); it probably feels heavy (which is usually a lie, or belongs to someone else) and I was deep in the heavy sometimes all because I was taking on other people’s shit that was not light to me.
That is when I said to myself, “I call bullshit…on me,” and began to embrace that kick-ass, hippie freak inside me. Hell to the yeah!
Obviously what are light to you may not be light to someone else and the same goes for the heavy feelings – it is all relative. You may even change your mind or point of view at any damn time you want. Now, isn’t that freedom?
I realized I was holding back the core of ME all along. (Oh yeah, not being You takes a shit ton of energy because you are constantly in judgment of yourself or others).
How can you receive love and acceptance if you are in judgment? Ya can’t!
I quit judgment of myself and stopped taking on others perceived perceptions and moved into choosing L-O-V-E, sweet love moment by moment. Feels so good.
What if being YOU is exactly what people wanted?
What if the cursing, F-bomb dropping, spontaneous, laugh-out-loud from your toes, cabernet wine lover, raw truth, I love the Universe, meditating feels so good, affirmation sayin’, weeeee bit stubborn, Wayne Dyer & Oprah loving, take no shit, cry when I watch 20/20, wanna change the world Keli is all that I “need” to BE?
What if someone does not accept you?
That truly is not your problem – it is their “problem.” And it is not even a problem…take nothing personally. Send them light and love and carry on, sister (and brother), carry on.
What if just by showing up every day as YOU is all that is required? Too simple?
We are inter-connected, ever-changing BE~ings, so give yourself permission to change your mind and grow.
Who wants to stay the same their whole life?
Growth occurs by putting one foot in front of the other even when you cannot see what’s in front of you.
What’s in front of you is the ability to choose; choose feelings of faith and hope and the choice to tap into our inner knowing of guidance – that sacred space of freedom and serenity which gives us an internal cheering and peace every time we choose from knowing.
Rock on – the choice is yours.
Love + Droppin’ It Like It’s Hot,