On Living Like You’re Alive

The hubs and I stood there, on a rug that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe, in an exquisitely sizable, modern, well-decorated house and just stared at the striking and rather large family picture on the wall.

As we were gazing at it and trying to place all of the people in the frame (because we sure as hell didn’t know them that well, except for shaking hands and exchanging “Nice to meet you,” in their kitchen ten minutes ago) – my father-in-law’s Lady Friend walked into the room and noticed us looking at the picture on the wall.

She began to explain one by one who everyone was.

Me being the absolute nosiest, most intrigued person with a profound desire to want to know the intricacies of people’s lives, chose to go down the rabbit hole.

She answered my questions – who, why, what – and then I inquired how the husband and wife met.

Lady Friend was going into detail about how they met and a particular part of the story had both my husband and I on the edge of our tippy toes…

She described how the wife was previously widowed and left with a baby and a toddler and then met and married her (now) husband soon after meeting and they’ve been together ever since.

My hubs was dismayed to hear someone re-marrying or hell, even finding love so fast after a partner’s death (and Lady Friend told us their marriage was one of the best she’s ever witnessed and was heartbroken when he passed).

“How could you just move on so quickly after something like that?” Hubs quipped as he sipped his drink.

“Well, as they say, life is for the living.” Lady Friend remarked with her sweet, southern accent.

As far as I was concerned, that was a Mic Drop Moment because I went blank in conversation after that and straight absorbed what she just said:

Life. Is. For. The. Living.

I know it sounds so simple, but I never heard that saying/quote until those words oozed out of her mouth. And those lyrics hit me like a ton of bricks, man. Coming from someone who thinks she’s all ballsy and wants to live outside her comfort zone – that shit will make you feel alive I thought – but that quote straight hit me like I had to evaluate how I was truly living.

Am I living as if I’m alive or am I living as if I’m already dead?

What would I do differently knowing I have this life to live right now?

How would I live as if I’m fully alive?

I now ask myself these questions as often as I need in order to smack my own ass.

“Life is for the living,” repeats in my head constantly nowadays.

And when I feel uninspired — I remember that I’m alive and breath is a gift.

Love + Living Like I’m Alive,

Keli

The BIG Differences In Venting vs. Complaining

Have you ever had a shitty day?

*Handful of hands up in the air*

I’m talking the kind of day where adult conversation wasn’t a big part of your life.

I know I’m not the only one.

Recently, my hubs came home from work and I started venting to him about the day I had with my dad (82 years young w/ slight dementia), as well as my larger than life spit-fire, (more like igniting volcanoes) 4-year old.

The hubs and I were standing in the kitchen as I was spewing my frustrations over a sassy, let’s-argue-about-the-sky-being blue, kiddo that I had been dealing with all morning long.

When the steam finally stopped coming out of my ears, my husband looked at me and said, “I don’t understand, you always say how much you love your life, but it sounds to me like you’re complaining about it.”

My first response was, “No, I’m not complaining; I’m just venting! There’s a difference.”

Cricket. Cricket.

Shit…Is there a difference, I thought.

Yes there is.

Biggest difference in venting vs. complaining is this: 

Complaining is chronic. Venting is therapeutic.

Here’s how complaining may appear:

  • Complaining has no end result – it can last an entire conversation, or an entire lifetime.
  • Complaining wants to breed more complaining and may love playing the victim.
  • Complaining can be about one topic the rest of eternity (enter: unresolved rage, anger, complacency).
  • Complaining wants to stay right where the complaint is and not work through it; it loves infancy and thriving off of problems, not solutions.

The good news is there is a totally cool option to complaining: VENTING!

Yeah, baby – sweet, mother of Venting can be healing, here’s how:

  • Venting is like a teapot: blow steam when heated up, but you don’t stay steaming.
  • Venting loves solutions: sometimes we have to get our internal dialogue into the ether (especially if it’s emotion fueled + soul rumbling).
  • Venting is usually intentional: express your anger, get pissed about that thing, unhinge it off your chest, but don’t live there – erupt + move on.
  • Venting can be an energetic release: like I said, erupt + move on. When feelings are vented in a safe place with peeps that can honor your gush of emotion (and probably help you work through it) – THAT is a release that is orgasm worthy.

Venting is soul worthy of release; complaining is spirit heavy with stagnancy. Choose your liberation carefully. 

Love + Venting My Soul Out,

Keli