When the Whistle Blows

I scurry to the kitchen from our bedroom like I’m a running back with my eye on the end zone. (Just to be clear, I had to Google what a running back actually does + I originally said “inzone” not end zone. THAT’S how much I know about football.) It’s a familiar scene in the […]

Pressure + The Snooze Button

I’m experimenting with something you probably know nothing about. Oh wait, you’re a human, so yeah, you probably know a lot about what I’m experimenting with: Pressure. (Don’t think for one second, I don’t automatically hear “Under Pressure” [Queen/David Bowie] and want to bust out a tune). You see, this whole experiment came about due […]

When Can No Become a Complete Sentence? (+ I’m So Not A Nature Person, So Stop Asking Me to Go Hiking)

I’m a pretty literal person + I definitely don’t read between the lines very well. When someone remarks, “Didn’t you hear what that guy was trying to say?” I’m usually sitting there thinking so hard my brain starts to twitch, “Ummmm, nope, sure didn’t; all I literally heard was the exact words coming out of […]

In Awe of Piddle

I don’t get irritated or baffled anymore when I walk into a restroom and see pee on the floor, or heck, on the toilet seat itself. I don’t even wonder in my head – or out loud if I’m feeling brazen – “Wow, doesn’t anybody know how to pee in the bowl anymore?” I don’t […]