The BIG Differences In Venting vs. Complaining

Have you ever had a shitty day?

*Handful of hands up in the air*

I’m talking the kind of day where adult conversation wasn’t a big part of your life.

I know I’m not the only one.

Recently, my hubs came home from work and I started venting to him about the day I had with my dad (82 years young w/ slight dementia), as well as my larger than life spit-fire, (more like igniting volcanoes) 4-year old.

The hubs and I were standing in the kitchen as I was spewing my frustrations over a sassy, let’s-argue-about-the-sky-being blue, kiddo that I had been dealing with all morning long.

When the steam finally stopped coming out of my ears, my husband looked at me and said, “I don’t understand, you always say how much you love your life, but it sounds to me like you’re complaining about it.”

My first response was, “No, I’m not complaining; I’m just venting! There’s a difference.”

Cricket. Cricket.

Shit…Is there a difference, I thought.

Yes there is.

Biggest difference in venting vs. complaining is this: 

Complaining is chronic. Venting is therapeutic.

Here’s how complaining may appear:

  • Complaining has no end result – it can last an entire conversation, or an entire lifetime.
  • Complaining wants to breed more complaining and may love playing the victim.
  • Complaining can be about one topic the rest of eternity (enter: unresolved rage, anger, complacency).
  • Complaining wants to stay right where the complaint is and not work through it; it loves infancy and thriving off of problems, not solutions.

The good news is there is a totally cool option to complaining: VENTING!

Yeah, baby – sweet, mother of Venting can be healing, here’s how:

  • Venting is like a teapot: blow steam when heated up, but you don’t stay steaming.
  • Venting loves solutions: sometimes we have to get our internal dialogue into the ether (especially if it’s emotion fueled + soul rumbling).
  • Venting is usually intentional: express your anger, get pissed about that thing, unhinge it off your chest, but don’t live there – erupt + move on.
  • Venting can be an energetic release: like I said, erupt + move on. When feelings are vented in a safe place with peeps that can honor your gush of emotion (and probably help you work through it) – THAT is a release that is orgasm worthy.

Venting is soul worthy of release; complaining is spirit heavy with stagnancy. Choose your liberation carefully. 

Love + Venting My Soul Out,

Keli